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Showing posts from June, 2020

Day 101 - Lazy Saturday Missing Auggie

I slept in today.  I have my to-do list in my new notebook.  This one opens all the way and is much easier to work with.  I am crossing things off as quick as I am adding.  That is a lie, I am actually adding so many things to it that I might have to take a Xanax if I don't stop.
The big chickens are bullying the little ones, the cats are hissing at each other, and I am missing my lazy dog.  We had to put her down yesterday.  She was in pain between her heart and her eye and it was the right thing to do.  It will take me a while to get used to not walking her, tending to her, and snuggling her.  She was our little hot mess when we adopted her but even hot messes grow on you over the span of 10 years.  As she drifted off over the rainbow bridge, I thanked her for being so awesome and showing us what true unconditional love is like one a daily basis.  She also taught us about boundaries and anxiety and trauma but those stories are for another day.
I wasn't going to write about Aug…

Day 99 - Back to work, school, running, real life = real anxiety

I went back into the library 3 weeks ago.  
It was surreal. 
No patrons.  Plexiglass everywhere.  Masks.  Long days.
I rode my bike into work a few days but sometimes it was just too hot.  I have been walking and running with friends and that has been amazing.  I have been visiting with my co-workers and talking to patrons on the phone.  We profess how much we miss each other and life before Covid-19 and hope for an everyday life where we can see each other face to face again.
My kids are taking online classes this summer so I figured, what the heck.  I'll go back to school too!  I am pursuing a degree in English and taking a class called Perspectives in History.  I am hoping it will give me the confidence to be the anti-racist on the outside that I am on the inside.  That is my struggle.  My kids are taking French and Pre-Calculus.   They are WAY smarter than I could ever hope to be.  
Since I have not been posting, nor will I be as much as I was, I am going to officially switch to bo…

Day 79 - I'm cancelling my gym membership

I have finally decided to cancel my gym membership.  It pains me because going to the gym has been a big part of my adult life.  Unfortunately, my schedule is different and so are my exercise needs.  I  will get a membership to Do Yoga With Me instead.  I have been loving the 30-day challenge and have enjoyed every other class I have taken on their website.  I feel stronger than I did in my 30's, maybe even stronger than I was in my 20's.  Now that I am running again, I need to keep it up so I looked into it.  
I get 50% off my first year with this coupon code:  DTWMGETYOGA2.  For $50, I get full access to the entire site!  And, it is the equivalent to 2 months of my gym membership!  I'm stoked!
I knew canceling my gym membership would be challenging so I looked it up.  You have to go in and fill out a form or send a certified letter.  Since my gym is not open, I have no choice but to send a letter, (I am loving the no contact with humans part of this).  I have linked the le…

Day 78 - Minimalism

My stepmother once told me that my house looks like a dorm room and I consider that a compliment.
I spend at least a half an hour a day, walking around my house, picking things up and throwing things away.  A neat, clean house helps me stay calm.  Meanwhile, my family, (all home) seem to spend a fair majority of their day randomly leaving things around the house to fester.  I seeth as I watch this transpire all afternoon into the evening, waiting for them to pick up their refuse.  It rarely happens.  My daughter sweeps the floor every day, (her choice) but I picked up 5 bowls from next to her bed the other day.
I encounter art supplies, electronics, chip wrappers, empty soda cans, and glasses.  I don't know why this happens.  I have begged, pleaded, and threatened in the past.  My son actually had the audacity to tell me he needed me to walk around with him and tell him what to pick up.  I have no words for that one.
I cannot imagine what our home would look like if I didn't have…

Day 75 - Last Monday at Home

Today is my last Monday working from home.  My feelings on this matter aren't in the least bit conflicted.  I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!  I can't wait to see my friends, have a routine, go to work, (bike there on nice days) and leave work at work!  Staying at home has been wonderful.  The flexibility has been great and I am thankful that I was able to keep my job, which I recognize that many people did not.  I am very lucky.
I am no stranger to working from home.  I did it when the kids were little and I have to say that although it hasn't happened nearly as much as when they were little, I HATE having to say, "I'm sorry but I need to finish this up, then I will be with you.  Then, me being me, I totally forget all about said promise and either continue working or move on to some menial house-related task that is required of me.  When my son was a toddler, he had this big plastic car and he used to drive it around the house and stop in the hallway and say, "Oops,…