Book-Geek

My advent calendar idea just didn't.  It worked the first night and then we were too busy, too tired, too apathetic.  Covid Christmas is going to be nothing special and that is totally ok with me.  I'm exhausted. Today is my last day of work for four days.  All I have to do to prepare for Christmas is wrap.  The house is a total mess but see above.  I'm not cleaning it.  I am going to go for long walks, read, and nourish myself with good food, good spirits and perhaps some long phone calls with friends and family, (unless they are too busy with the Christmas mayhem). Our new puppy, Toby, is a delight when he is not biting me.  He is 10 weeks old and is pretty close to sleeping through the night.  The biting is a total suck fest though.  He bit me so hard yesterday that I not only have a puncture wound but it is all black and blue.  I am too old for this.  My old lady skin is taking too long to heal and all the wounds on my hands make me look like a heroin addict. It is abou

There are few things I will complain about during this pandemic.  My family is healthy, my kids are doing fine with remote learning, (although they have missed out on so much, my senior the most) my husband and I both have jobs, and we have plenty of food on the table and oil in the tank.  The one thing that is really getting to me is that we are not able to get together with friends and family.  We are expecting a big storm this weekend and instead of having that feeling of, phew, maybe we can cancel plans and stay in, we just keep with the status quo.  No guests, no visiting.   Since we are staying in, together, all the time, I thought maybe I would switch up our advent calendar.  A friend posted online the other day that she was looking for some so I told her I have a wooden one so I can put whatever I want in it.  Then I had an idea.  A terrible, wicked, awful idea.  I would put little slips of paper in each box with different activities written on them, in addition to chocolate. 

 I logged off and deleted all my social media leading up to the election because I know my limits.  I have none. I have no boundaries and I am extremely sensitive.  I have no business being on social media at all but here we are.  Now, it is "official."  Biden is going to be our next president and more importantly, Harris will be our VP.  Upward and onward! I wish I could bask in the online glory but alas, Covid-19 has reared its ugly head and my kids are remote learning again and we are told we are not welcome in more states without quarantining for 14 days.  I guess no other states want our Live Free or Die rampant Covid-19 spreaders.  I don't want my kids to go to into school and I don't want to leave NH but I am just enough of an entitled American that I get a little panicky when I can't do what I want. We have enough toilet paper and I hope we have enough food because it is getting real again and it feels a little like Groundhog day.  I am just hoping that I

I get up every morning at 6am.  I get the kids up, (teenagers sleep through alarms).  I make them a warm breakfast and help with lunches.  I try to remember to tell them how awesome they are through pre-coffee clenched teeth but often just grunt and point.  My son has SATs today so I had to dig deep and remind him to take his time and boost him up before sending him off to caffeinate on his way to school.   I also had to touch base with them because of what is happening in the news right now.  The U.S. has a  new Supreme Court Justice , the election is just days away, and (I can't believe I am shocked about this) another police shooting ,  I just gave them a heads up, asked them not to get into it with anyone at school, and hope we can talk about it more tonight.  I can barely keep my head above water right now.  When I got up and saw the video of the police shooting, I cried.  I just cannot imagine it is any easier for a teenager to process all of this.   Thankfully, today is a ra

For long as I can I remember, I have wanted to do it all.   I like the idea of gardening, canning produce, knitting, sewing, cooking, making homemade gifts, & and digitally scrapbooking my family's shenanigans in great detail. I like to be active, be outside, read, write, visit with my family and my friends.  That is it.  Why do I feel compelled to do all this extra?  It is pretty weird when you think about it.  I think I need to try to stay in my lane. My house has become a project wasteland.  I look around at the piles taunting me from bins and boxes and corners and think to myself that I have become a collector of random things to do when all I really want to do is drink a cup of tea and read a good book.  I want to enjoy the downtime I deserve, (and frankly need) but I have this nagging voice tickling my brain whenever I do something not productive on my many lists.   Part of moving past this cycle of starting a project but not finishing it and feeling inadequate is getting

This book is a sequel to The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, which I read a few years ago.  I was drawn to its beautiful, ornate cover and kept intrigued by the mysterious pocket watch and mechanical octopus.  The cover of this book is not as uniquely textured but still beautiful! Since there were a few years between books, it took me a few chapters to get re-orientated.  I love how it is written from different perspectives and times but I really needed to pay attention with this storyline.  It is not a beach read. If you like reading thrillers about clairvoyance, family, ghosts, science, and politics, this is the book for you! Thank you Natasha Pulley for writing about such rich characters and complicated relationships, all while involving science and paranormal.  This was such a satisfying read and I enjoyed every minute of it!

One hundred seventy-three days in and day six of school for my kids and they get sent home for a week of remote learning due to the fact that someone at the school tested positive for covid-19.  I think to myself, Phew.  The system is working.  Thank goodness the school department is being proactive and looking out for not only our childrens' health but the staff and the community at large.  We are so lucky our city has it's shit together. Then, because I am ignorant AF, I logged onto Facebook.  I keep my circle small.  I have no problem hiding or unfriending someone who spreads doom and gloom and negativity.  I need to be vigilant about keeping my environment positive and nurturing for my mental health.  I quit Facebook once, twice...I have lost count.  I keep coming back to it because it is how I find out what is going on in town or how big my friends' kids are getting.  It is that necessary evil that I love to hate.   When I opened Facebook, I saw three of my friends pos

Actually, Monday, Labor Day, was more of a family fun day but it doesn't have a nice a ring to it.  The kids are back in school, with masks and socially distanced.  They are irritable and there was already a lockdown due to a robbery down the street.  Strange times indeed. So back to Monday.  Having two teenagers means we are rarely in the same place at once but since the pandemic, (silver lining) and Labor day, (thank you to our forefathers that fought for fair labor) we had a day to ourselves, together.   We explored some boulder fields in a nearby town, (actually my hometown but I never knew it existed).  I love low-key bouldering!  I am deathly afraid of heights but somehow climbing all over and hauling myself up huge chunks of rock is just the right balance of whole-body exercise and thrill of accomplishment.  Curiosity got the better of us so we kept tramping along for six miles.  Everyone still hurts four days later. We went out to dinner, outside, and got terribly slow serv

It was the beginning of summer, my husband was working from home, I started working three full days, the kids transitioned from remote learning to each taking a Vlacs course, so I decided to take another crack at finishing my degree online.  It sounded all so progressive, romantic even.  It felt like I was pulling off something a superhuman blogging mom would do.  Winning! It sucked.  I thoroughly enjoyed the learning.  I did not enjoy teaching myself or the logistics of the class itself.  It felt like simply navigating through all the moving parts was a full time job and it occupied all my spare time and energy.  Being who I am, I assumed that A. It was my fault and B.  I would get better at it.  Wrong! My second class just started and I was all pumped to write a paper on the failed Equal Rights Amendment when I had an epiphany.  Actually no.  That isn't right.  I started the class, got extremely confused, panicked, doubted myself, and pushed through all of the mental roadblocks

 This is my paper from my Intro to History class that I am taking.   My city’s high school mascot is the Red Raider.  It is the profile of a Native American man.  The school colors are red and white.  When we go to football games, the marching band plays the war dance song while the cheerleaders make a motion with their arms to resemble chopping with a tomahawk.  It makes my stomach churn and I want to cry every time.  I look around and I see over a hundred kids and at least that many adults cheering and chanting along. Call me a snowflake if you will but, every time, I am filled with disbelief and guilt.   I remember talking with an old roommate of mine one day, who is Native American.   I am embarrassed to admit that I needed him to explain why using such terms as tribe and spirit animal were not ok.  They are Native American terms and should not be used lightly because they are serious parts of Native American heritage.  Because I had this experience with my friend, it opened my eye

I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway.  It is not typically the type of book I like, (historical fiction) but I found it to be beautiful and haunting at the same time.   I felt I was almost at the north pole.  I could smell fish and taste the salt air, and I was cold even though it is almost 90 degrees out!  Based on true events which, explained in the historical notes, are heartbreaking.   I would recommend this book to anyone. I literally spent all morning finishing this book up, ignoring my family and the pets, lounging on the porch in my jammies.  This book is about what happens when one religion has ultimate control.  It is based in the 17th century in Norway but I couldn't help but see the parallels of what is happening in our world today.   My kids, (both teenagers) were discussing the Muslim persicution all over the world and the horrors in Yemin at dinner the other day.  You would think humanity would be past thinking people should be killed for holding different beliefs

Going back to school has taken me away from blogging but not reading!  Here is my latest! Christopher Moore is a favorite of mine.  I love his twisted and sarcastic sense of humor.  This book did not disappoint!  I was a little hesitant when I found out it was a twist on Midsummer Night's Dream but it was so fun, I couldn't put it down.  In true Moore fashion, the characters are quirky and deeper than you would expect given their behavior.  

I slept in today.  I have my to-do list in my new notebook.  This one opens all the way and is much easier to work with.  I am crossing things off as quick as I am adding.  That is a lie, I am actually adding so many things to it that I might have to take a Xanax if I don't stop. The big chickens are bullying the little ones, the cats are hissing at each other, and I am missing my lazy dog.  We had to put her down yesterday.  She was in pain between her heart and her eye and it was the right thing to do.  It will take me a while to get used to not walking her, tending to her, and snuggling her.  She was our little hot mess when we adopted her but even hot messes grow on you over the span of 10 years.  As she drifted off over the rainbow bridge, I thanked her for being so awesome and showing us what true unconditional love is like one a daily basis.  She also taught us about boundaries and anxiety and trauma but those stories are for another day. I wasn't going to write about Au

I went back into the library 3 weeks ago.   It was surreal.  No patrons.  Plexiglass everywhere.  Masks.  Long days. I rode my bike into work a few days but sometimes it was just too hot.  I have been walking and running with friends and that has been amazing.  I have been visiting with my co-workers and talking to patrons on the phone.  We profess how much we miss each other and life before Covid-19 and hope for an everyday life where we can see each other face to face again. My kids are taking online classes this summer so I figured, what the heck.  I'll go back to school too!  I am pursuing a degree in English and taking a class called Perspectives in History.  I am hoping it will give me the confidence to be the anti-racist on the outside that I am on the inside.  That is my struggle.  My kids are taking French and Pre-Calculus.   They are WAY smarter than I could ever hope to be.   Since I have not been posting, nor will I be as much as I was, I am going to officially switch t

I have finally decided to cancel my gym membership.  It pains me because going to the gym has been a big part of my adult life.  Unfortunately, my schedule is different and so are my exercise needs.  I  will get a membership to Do Yoga With Me  instead.  I have been loving the 30-day challenge and have enjoyed every other class I have taken on their website.  I feel stronger than I did in my 30's, maybe even stronger than I was in my 20's.  Now that I am running again, I need to keep it up so I looked into it.   I get 50% off my first year with this coupon code:  DTWMGETYOGA2.  For $50, I get full access to the entire site!  And, it is the equivalent to 2 months of my gym membership!  I'm stoked! I knew canceling my gym membership would be challenging so I looked it up.  You have to go in and fill out a form or send a certified letter.  Since my gym is not open, I have no choice but to send a letter, (I am loving the no contact with humans part of this).  I have linked the

My stepmother once told me that my house looks like a dorm room and I consider that a compliment. I spend at least a half an hour a day, walking around my house, picking things up and throwing things away.  A neat, clean house helps me stay calm.  Meanwhile, my family, (all home) seem to spend a fair majority of their day randomly leaving things around the house to fester.  I seeth as I watch this transpire all afternoon into the evening, waiting for them to pick up their refuse.  It rarely happens.  My daughter sweeps the floor every day, (her choice) but I picked up 5 bowls from next to her bed the other day. I encounter art supplies, electronics, chip wrappers, empty soda cans, and glasses.  I don't know why this happens.  I have begged, pleaded, and threatened in the past.  My son actually had the audacity to tell me he needed me to walk around with him and tell him what to pick up.  I have no words for that one. I cannot imagine what our home would look like if I didn't ha

Today is my last Monday working from home.  My feelings on this matter aren't in the least bit conflicted.  I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!  I can't wait to see my friends, have a routine, go to work, (bike there on nice days) and leave work at work!  Staying at home has been wonderful.  The flexibility has been great and I am thankful that I was able to keep my job, which I recognize that many people did not.  I am very lucky. I am no stranger to working from home.  I did it when the kids were little and I have to say that although it hasn't happened nearly as much as when they were little, I HATE having to say, "I'm sorry but I need to finish this up, then I will be with you.  Then, me being me, I totally forget all about said promise and either continue working or move on to some menial house-related task that is required of me.  When my son was a toddler, he had this big plastic car and he used to drive it around the house and stop in the hallway and say, "Oops,

There were definitely some amazing quotes in this book. I follow Glennon Doyle on Twitter and find her to be a source of joy, clarity, and strength. I didn't really appreciate the extremes in her story. I recognize she can't change them. It is just something I can't relate to and didn't enjoy reading about. It did remind me that even people brought up in a loving home with privilege still go off course and that life is hard for us humans.  There was one point that I truly disagreed with and that is her refusal to do what it takes to maintain a friendship. There was one part that she mentions not liking texting because of the obligatory back and forth and I was like...That is called a conversation. Goodreads

Change doesn't usually bother me but I detest shopping on a good day so I am sure this is why I have been so reluctant to change in the past.  Online shopping is so convenient.  I like researching and reading reviews, (even though I realize that most of them are being incentivized to do so).  This pandemic has opened my eyes to how far I have sold out and gotten away from my values.  Change here we come! When the kids were little, I worked very part-time from home.  I then stayed home for five years, focusing on our family and trying to save money wherever I could.  I embraced my inner college student.  If I wanted something, I wrote it on a list.  If I still wanted it by the time payday came, I would go buy it, (at a thrift store if at all possible).  The kids are older now, their needs seem immediate.  I'm not just talking candy, soda, and chips.  If one of them needs underwear, I just go online, find the brand I bought them last time, and get the next size up.  I have things

This past weekend was Memorial Day.  There was no parade.  My husband went to put flags on tombstones because the kids couldn't.  I read The Tattooist of Auschwitz . We relaxed our defenses a bit and went for a long bike ride with the kids.  I actually took my daughter to the fabric store to buy a ton of fabric to make masks.  A friend sent me this video:   video of awesome face mask .  I tweaked it a bit and now use t-shirt material for the ear elastic and it is so much more comfortable! My daughter also moved out to our screened-in porch for the summer.  I sleep out there when I want to be up half the night and don't care if I can't walk the next day.  It is all worth it when she wakes up with a huge smile on her face and says good morning. It has been incredibly hot so I have been working a ton because my kids are being slugs.  I did manage to get the paddleboards in the water the other day.  It was so hot, humid, and buggy, I thought I was going to whine myself to death

The kids were done last Friday.  I go back June 8th.  This is a weird time where I am encouraging them to just relax and enjoy this time, while I am frantically trying to pack in hours from home.  I think some re-evaluation is in order.  I am going to dial it back and be more available for them before I go back to work but what am I going to do?  I suppose we could blow bubbles or draw with chalk in the driveway.  Teenagers love that stuff right? My daughter is so bored already that she made an indoor mini golf course all over the house.  It is very fun but walking around has become a bit of a death trap.  My son mowed the lawn and went for a bike ride, (26 miles).  They are both a chip off the old block in that they don't idle well. We don't want them to get jobs as we don't feel it is worth the health risk.  They will be taking online classes over the summer but what else are they going to do to take up their time?  I can tell you right now that it won't involve picki

My husband informed me that we, meaning I, had 22 Amazon purchases last month.  I got a little sick to my stomach at the thought that I had purchased that much and from a company that is supposedly so awful.  In my defense, (as if I have to defend myself) I thought the items would just ship whenever.  I honestly didn't know that people were working overtime to ship out my vitamins or face serum.  Most of the purchases were things that I already purchase from them, sad, or get at Walmart, embarrassing. Since it is so hard to find answers to anything other than a simple baking question on the internet, I decided to do some, you guessed it, internet research to either ease my heavy heart or force myself to wake up and do the socially responsible shopping that my laziness and anxiety have prevented me from doing.  This is what I found. In an editorial in The Augusta Chronicle from May 16th, 2 days ago, nothing nice was said about Amazon.  Apparently, they are phasing out the paid time

The right type of boredom is actually good for you.  I have been reading about it since I became a parent.  Unfortunately for me, when my son gets bored, something gets taken apart, cut down, dug up, or otherwise adds stress and a crap ton of work to my life.  He is crazy creative and motivated but balance is not in his vocabulary.  Yeah yeah first world problems... Yesterday was immensely productive.  My whole family worked all day on a project that involved picking up a wheelbarrow full of rocks, putting down about a half a yard of loam, putting the rocks back, seeding the loam, and moving two rain barrels into place while trying to make them aesthetically pleasing as possible.  I roasted a chicken and we ate a late lunch on the deck.  The weather was amazing and so as anyone who lives in New England knows, if the weather is good, one must take advantage of it.  We absolutely took advantage of it!  My husband and I even managed to go work on some mountain bike trails with my son afte

As the weather gets nicer, it is easier to get outside and do different things such as yard work and long walks but it is also more enticing to get together with friends. Yesterday was a bit windy but my friend came over with her daughter and we walked for miles while the girls hung out and did what teenage girls do, (show each other pictures and videos on their phones).  We were not wearing masks and we weren't six feet apart at all times but we were outside.  It felt amazing!  It felt almost normal except there were no hugs goodbye.  If there is one thing I am going to miss after this is all over, it is hugging.  No one will be touching again ever and it makes me a little sad. A friend is coming over today to pick up a couple of chickens. We will be wearing masks because chicken wrangling is a full contact sport.  We will have coffee outside and it will be glorious!  My zoom friends discussed walking in lieu of chatting once a week and I am totally down for that. Is is too much t

Today's gross distraction is brought to you by my 17 year old.  This is what I pulled out of his room the other day.  I also disposed of two bags of trash that didn't even include the eight empty seltzer and soda cans scattered about. I don't typically go into his room because I can't stand the smell and I don't care to spend my time picking up after him.  Unfortunately, he was feeling a bit overwhelmed and didn't know where to begin because it had gotten so out of control.  I am not a monster so I helped.   The lack of picking up has ALWAYS been an issue.  My room had to be perfect when I was growing up.  My bed had to be made with military precision, (not an exaggeration).  When I had kids I swore I would not subject them to such unrealistic and irrelevant expectations.  Being that balance is not my strong suit, my children do not know how to make their beds and they NEVER put their clothes away.  I have threatened to take away their bureaus so they can just l

If there is one thing I have always prided myself in, it is the fact that I have ALWAYS been in good shape.  If I gained a little over the winter, it always came off by summer.  Unfortunately, I am post-menopausal, (gasp!) and #$%! just got real.  I stepped on the scales and it is official:  My BMI is 30! I ran a half marathon a few years back and trained too hard without cross-training.  I didn't make the time because I kept telling myself that I barely had time to do the running.  I developed such severe tendonitis that I could barely walk.  I couldn't bend down without being in excruciating pain.  Being a grade school librarian at the time, I was pretty miserable.  I did my physical therapy and got back to jogging maybe 3 miles at a go but still pay for it with days of hamstring pain.  I now walk a lot and do yoga but that does not burn the calories that running does. This quarantine is killing me!  I can grab a snack anytime.  I can have a glass of wine any night.  Now, 55

Not to brag but I had a pretty awesome Mother's Day.  This is where being low maintenance comes in handy.  I told my husband I wanted a caramel apple to support our local candy shop so he got some for all of us, plus chocolate-covered strawberries!  I always ask to have my car cleaned and this year I got a complete detail complete with shampooed upholstery.  My son wants to start a business detailing cars and I am happy to say that I am a satisfied first customer!  I used to ask for a family hike but we walk every day right now anyway and the local mountains are always packed with grumpy people, (including my family) on Mother's day so I stopped asking for that. I woke up in a tent in the back yard with my daughter who is a Scout so we were participating in a virtual troop campout.  I had an awesome night's sleep!  Yeah yoga ! I have embarked on a 30 day yoga challenge.  Even though I haven't lost any weight, I feel great!  I feel stronger and my posture is amazing. 

Something smells like rotting broccoli in my fridge.  The last time this happened, it was because I had put some broccoli in a reusable plastic bag in the crisper.  Apparently, the smell goes right through those things so don't even think about it! This time, I thought it was the broccoli so we ate it all.  The fridge still smells.  I put the Brussels sprouts and the kale in Glad Ware because I thought maybe the freezer bags weren't enough to contain the fumes.  It still smells.  I put a bowl of baking soda.  The fridge still smells.  The freezer smells also!  I put two bowls of vinegar in the fridge and guess what?  IT SMELLS!  Now it smells like rotten broccoli and vinegar.

I am the only foodie in the house.  Everyone else is very utilitarian in their food interests.  Meat and starch of basically any kind are fine and veggies are tolerated.  We are all super busy normally so I have a meal schedule: Monday:  Chicken Tuesday: Breakfast Wednesday: Burgers Thursday: Takeout Friday: Pasta or pizza Saturday: Chicken again Sunday: Some kind of meat slow-cooked I don't eat much meat and none of us eat much dairy so you can only imagine how complicated meal planning can be and how tough it is to incorporate flavor into our meals.  I pour over cooking magazines, searching for that ever-elusive recipe that will satisfy most of us and that is just a little different.  We had crepes last Tuesday.  This works because we all dress our crepes up differently.   Pizza is great because we all like different things so we can craft our own dinners to suit our tastes.  I eat veggie burgers and a lot of tofu and beans.  I very rarely make anything special for myself because

When the pandemic became "real" for us and we all started working and schooling from home, I didn't handle it well.  In hindsight, I was pretty immature about it.  I felt sorry for myself.  I lazed around and only toyed with the idea of being productive.  I am confident I was just a wee bit depressed.   I am one of those freaks that actually LOVES my job.  I love my coworkers, the patrons, and the environment.  The library is my happy place and it has been since I was a child.  I now literally get paid to be in my happy place.  Being surrounded by people who seem to like me and like the same things I do has been something I have been craving my whole adult life and I didn't realize how much it factored into my overall well being until it didn't. Fast forward about five or six weeks.  I am knee-deep into the Science of Well Being class .  I set up a desk for myself because the bean bag setup was not sustainable.  The weather is getting nicer and that certainly help

Some days are great!  Today is not one of those days.  The dog is sick I had to go to Staples to get more printer paper and none of the customers were wearing masks, (even though it is clearly stated on the side of the building IN HUGE LETTERS)! My computer has some sort of Gremlin in it I went to bed way too late last night I am still going to hop on the treadmill and watch my professional development video.  I am still going to do my yoga and strength training, and I am still going to walk with the family before dinner. I am also going to squeeze a nap in there somewhere because I can. mood

I drove my family crazy this weekend.  After listening to the Little Book of Hygge , I lit candles, donned fancy comfy socks, and pointed out everything in our house and life that is Hygge ,  What is Hygge you ask?  If it were to be summed up in one word it would be COMFORT.  A well deserved savory meal after a long day of working outside or biking or hiking.  Hygge is my jam!  Hygge is beanbags, fire, comfort food, quilts, comfortable clothing, and friends.  Hygge is a Scandinavian state of mind.  In an area that is devoid of natural light most of the winter and enjoys very little "nice" weather, the population in these countries have turned to a way to embrace this lot in life and make it a positive.  It is spring in New England.  One minute it is 70 and sunny and the next minute it is 40, rainy and windy.  I am not exaggerating!  So, why wait for fall and winter.  Enjoy a Hygge lifestyle today and every day! This is totally Hygge

Being the youngest of seven children, one would think I could write an entire book on sibling rivalry but alas, I cannot.  I have little to no experience on the matter.  My youngest sibling, my brother, is five years older than I and he is amazing in that he basically catered to my every whim.  After a particularly brutal battle with his little sister, my son asked my brother, "Uncle Dave, did you fight with my mom like this when you were our age?" To which my brother replied, "No, we pretty much had to stick together."  Sad but true.  A good childhood is no preparation for life and idle hands lead to nothing better to do than stir up trouble with your sibling. When my daughter came into this world, I prided myself in all the thorough consideration I gave to the possibility that my son could feel displaced.  We rented books from the library, ( Darcy and Gran Don't Like Babies , I'm a Big Brother ) we talked a lot, we took the crib down way before she