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Day 229 - Back where we started

 I logged off and deleted all my social media leading up to the election because I know my limits.  I have none. I have no boundaries and I am extremely sensitive.  I have no business being on social media at all but here we are.  Now, it is "official."  Biden is going to be our next president and more importantly, Harris will be our VP.  Upward and onward! I wish I could bask in the online glory but alas, Covid-19 has reared its ugly head and my kids are remote learning again and we are told we are not welcome in more states without quarantining for 14 days.  I guess no other states want our Live Free or Die rampant Covid-19 spreaders.  I don't want my kids to go to into school and I don't want to leave NH but I am just enough of an entitled American that I get a little panicky when I can't do what I want. We have enough toilet paper and I hope we have enough food because it is getting real again and it feels a little like Groundhog day.  I am just hoping that I
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Day 212 - Breathe

I get up every morning at 6am.  I get the kids up, (teenagers sleep through alarms).  I make them a warm breakfast and help with lunches.  I try to remember to tell them how awesome they are through pre-coffee clenched teeth but often just grunt and point.  My son has SATs today so I had to dig deep and remind him to take his time and boost him up before sending him off to caffeinate on his way to school.   I also had to touch base with them because of what is happening in the news right now.  The U.S. has a  new Supreme Court Justice , the election is just days away, and (I can't believe I am shocked about this) another police shooting ,  I just gave them a heads up, asked them not to get into it with anyone at school, and hope we can talk about it more tonight.  I can barely keep my head above water right now.  When I got up and saw the video of the police shooting, I cried.  I just cannot imagine it is any easier for a teenager to process all of this.   Thankfully, today is a ra

Day 202 - Staying in your lane

For long as I can I remember, I have wanted to do it all.   I like the idea of gardening, canning produce, knitting, sewing, cooking, making homemade gifts, & and digitally scrapbooking my family's shenanigans in great detail. I like to be active, be outside, read, write, visit with my family and my friends.  That is it.  Why do I feel compelled to do all this extra?  It is pretty weird when you think about it.  I think I need to try to stay in my lane. My house has become a project wasteland.  I look around at the piles taunting me from bins and boxes and corners and think to myself that I have become a collector of random things to do when all I really want to do is drink a cup of tea and read a good book.  I want to enjoy the downtime I deserve, (and frankly need) but I have this nagging voice tickling my brain whenever I do something not productive on my many lists.   Part of moving past this cycle of starting a project but not finishing it and feeling inadequate is getting

Day 192 - Book Review of The Lost Future of Pepperharrow

This book is a sequel to The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, which I read a few years ago.  I was drawn to its beautiful, ornate cover and kept intrigued by the mysterious pocket watch and mechanical octopus.  The cover of this book is not as uniquely textured but still beautiful! Since there were a few years between books, it took me a few chapters to get re-orientated.  I love how it is written from different perspectives and times but I really needed to pay attention with this storyline.  It is not a beach read. If you like reading thrillers about clairvoyance, family, ghosts, science, and politics, this is the book for you! Thank you Natasha Pulley for writing about such rich characters and complicated relationships, all while involving science and paranormal.  This was such a satisfying read and I enjoyed every minute of it!

Day 174 - Pandemic combined with Facebook equals disaster for your soul

One hundred seventy-three days in and day six of school for my kids and they get sent home for a week of remote learning due to the fact that someone at the school tested positive for covid-19.  I think to myself, Phew.  The system is working.  Thank goodness the school department is being proactive and looking out for not only our childrens' health but the staff and the community at large.  We are so lucky our city has it's shit together. Then, because I am ignorant AF, I logged onto Facebook.  I keep my circle small.  I have no problem hiding or unfriending someone who spreads doom and gloom and negativity.  I need to be vigilant about keeping my environment positive and nurturing for my mental health.  I quit Facebook once, twice...I have lost count.  I keep coming back to it because it is how I find out what is going on in town or how big my friends' kids are getting.  It is that necessary evil that I love to hate.   When I opened Facebook, I saw three of my friends pos

Day 166 - Friday Family Fun Day

Actually, Monday, Labor Day, was more of a family fun day but it doesn't have a nice a ring to it.  The kids are back in school, with masks and socially distanced.  They are irritable and there was already a lockdown due to a robbery down the street.  Strange times indeed. So back to Monday.  Having two teenagers means we are rarely in the same place at once but since the pandemic, (silver lining) and Labor day, (thank you to our forefathers that fought for fair labor) we had a day to ourselves, together.   We explored some boulder fields in a nearby town, (actually my hometown but I never knew it existed).  I love low-key bouldering!  I am deathly afraid of heights but somehow climbing all over and hauling myself up huge chunks of rock is just the right balance of whole-body exercise and thrill of accomplishment.  Curiosity got the better of us so we kept tramping along for six miles.  Everyone still hurts four days later. We went out to dinner, outside, and got terribly slow serv

Day 161 - Pandemic Existential Crisis

It was the beginning of summer, my husband was working from home, I started working three full days, the kids transitioned from remote learning to each taking a Vlacs course, so I decided to take another crack at finishing my degree online.  It sounded all so progressive, romantic even.  It felt like I was pulling off something a superhuman blogging mom would do.  Winning! It sucked.  I thoroughly enjoyed the learning.  I did not enjoy teaching myself or the logistics of the class itself.  It felt like simply navigating through all the moving parts was a full time job and it occupied all my spare time and energy.  Being who I am, I assumed that A. It was my fault and B.  I would get better at it.  Wrong! My second class just started and I was all pumped to write a paper on the failed Equal Rights Amendment when I had an epiphany.  Actually no.  That isn't right.  I started the class, got extremely confused, panicked, doubted myself, and pushed through all of the mental roadblocks